Assignment 1: Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)
To: af_somrita.ganchoudhuri@singaporetech.edu.sg
From: 2001083@sit.singaporetech.edu.sg
SUBJECT: Introduction letter
Dear Professor Somrita,
I hope this week has been a pleasant one for you. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Catalina Koh, and I am a full-time undergraduate pursuing my studies in Civil Engineering.
I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Biomedical Engineering back in 2018 and have since then worked with Tan Tock Seng Hospital as an Assistant Engineer for the past two years. Having achieved my targeted short term career goals in the field of medical engineering, I was then interested in expanding my professional horizons in the field of Civil Engineering. The driving factor could be thanks to my favourite television series; Prison Break. Whereby the storyline starts with a structural engineer who derived a plan to break his brother out of prison. The complexity of the protagonist's way of thinking was what got me inspired in the world of Civil Engineering.
My strength is verbal communication. I often find myself enjoying conversations with people as well as sharing stories with a crowd. Communication is key in a hospital setting, and getting on the good books of professionals from other departments is essential. I was able to use my strengths and form good connections with my colleagues.
However, I find it difficult to handle criticism well. My confidence tends to dwindle whenever I receive criticism. It has been a working subject for me as I strive to take in positive criticism as it is definitely an effective form of communication to further improve oneself. Taking in positive criticism is an effective way to improve in my communication, hence i will strive to continue improving myself.
Upon completion of this module, my main goals are to be clear and succinct in my message deliverance through the various communication activities we are going to have. Communication is imperative today, and I look forward to learning the ropes from you.
Best regards,
Catalina
Well-written!
ReplyDeleteThank you Arvinth
DeleteHi Catalina,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Is the show that you mention called "Prison Break"?.
I like how you explained your engineering background and what inspired you to pursue a degree in Civil Engineering.
I love how you shared the details on your strength and weaknesses by giving examples from your experiences working in TTSH. I felt that from the examples and the body of the message, you are writing from experiences and you are able to identify your strength and weaknesses from it.
I am sure that you are able to achieve your goals for the module and I am looking forward on us working together in the future. Wishing you all the best.
WenYong
Hi Wen yong,
DeleteYes, it is "Prison Break"! Do you watch that as well?
Also, Thank you for your kind comments. I am looking forward to my university life with you.
Cat
Hi Catalina,
ReplyDeleteInteresting story on what was your driving factor in choosing the Civil Engineering field! Furthermore, it is amazing to know that you were from a completely engineering field.
From your letter, I can see that you are very organized from how you mentioned your short-term career goals as wells as how you want to expand your horizons. Your strength is one that I agree as I enjoy the conversations we have in class and your enthusiasm allows me to speak comfortably with you. Furthermore, your wide use of vocabulary makes your letter an enjoyable read.
Hope that you will achieve your goals for this module! Let us have a good 3 years together!
Warmest regards,
Arsyad
Hi Arsyad,
DeleteThanks for your feedback on my post. I hope we will be able to achieve our goals together!
Cat
Dear Catalina,
ReplyDeleteYour letter was an enjoyable read! What fascinated me was the fact that you chose your major based on your favourite television series. I do agree with you, that a Civil Engineer has a way of thinking critically, and that is something I admire as well.
The way you have portrayed your strengths and weaknesses was really clear and concise, giving me a clear idea of the mentioned traits. Regarding handling criticism, what if it was given based on a personal level, such as a friend? Would that affect you less? Or is handling criticism difficult as a whole? Maybe you can elaborate on that!
I am glad I could learn new things about you on a more personal level, and I believe we will be able to work together amiably. I look forward to achieving our goals set for this module with you!
Best Regards,
Nicole
Dear Catalina,
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this letter. I enjoyed reading your letter. There are few issues to consider regarding language use. Below are my suggestions:
1. My name is Catalina Koh and I am a full-time undergraduate pursuing my studies in Civil Engineering. > Missing a Comma?
2. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Biomedical Engineering back in 2018 and have since then worked with Tan Tock Seng Hospital as an Assistant Engineer for the past 2 years > Spell out 2
3. The driving factor could be thanks to my favourite television series, whereby the storyline starts with a structural engineer who derived a plan to break his brother out of prison. The complexity of the protagonist's way of thinking was what got me inspired in the world of Civil Engineering. > I would like to know the name of the TV series at this point.
4. I was lucky enough to be able to make use of my strength and form good connections with my colleagues. > More concise?
5. It has been a working subject for me as I strive to take in positive criticism as it is definitely an effective form of communication to further improve oneself.> More concise?
6. Communication is imperative today and I look forward to learning the ropes from you. > Missing a Comma?
Best wishes,
Somrita
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI like how you start the letter by sending a greeting to the receiver unlike the conventional way. Your content interest me, like how it is always fun to know new people, seeing their personal reflection of themselves. To add on, the way you deliver and express yourself in this letter is amazing especially in this formal setting, I feel that you are able to include your sincerity and friendliness. I don’t know how to specifically point out how you did it, but your style of writing seemed professional, and like the one that always being mentioned by English teacher in primary/ secondary school for writing good composition/ essays. Definitely something for me to learn from you.
DeleteMy comments are:
1. Is there a reason for Verbal Communication to be in caps? Like a noun or…
2. 'Communication is key… other departments was essential’. I’m not sure myself, but sound like it should be both in present tense or past tense. Else, being essential is not essential anymore now. '
3. 'It has been a working subject for me as I strive to take in positive criticism as it is definitely an effective form of communication to further improve oneself.’ It sounds weird to me to have 2 ‘as’, making the sentence long and weird. Might want to break it up, throw in more commas or sub the word ‘as’ with something else.
4. I thought you can include more connecting words to show the flow or your sentences. E.g, second paragraph, after mentioning your strength, you gave the example, maybe you could add in some connection to show the linkage to the starting clause.
Overall, real glad to have read your content and had provided me with another perspective of you. I look forward to work together in this course a whole with our peers and probably make a new friend in the process.
Regards,
Kelvin Heng